Hi, my name is Jay and that’s all I can tell you at the moment. I have a high profile reputation to maintain (will be letting go of this soon, but not yet) and am kind of afraid of telling anyone who is hiding behind this profile in case anything that I may speak about reaches my friends, family and those who are important to me…In doing so I have taken many precautions to avoid my personal information accidentally reaching the public domain until I am want it to, if I even decide to take that route (I like being mysterious- Muahhhahahaha j/k). I would like to think eventually I will let the world see who I am, at which point at least they will now what I stand for and will know me better than they could have ever imagined. If you do know who I am or think you do, please keep it to yourself. That is my only request for readers of this blog. Please don’t be a spoiler!
I have started this blog as an outlet for me to discuss topics that are important to me and that I notice on a daily basis just seem to continue poking and prodding at humanity like it is some sort of resilient pinata. Not cool.. but necessary? I’d like to think not…
I am not sure where to start, other than at the very beginning of where I started to realize, something was very wrong and if I didn’t take the time to analyze the situations that were affecting me, I knew I would end up meeting my maker much sooner than I planned; Against my own will of course. I LOVE life, no matter how many curve balls it throws my way (that’s just broadening of the horizons, isn’t it?). So, in a nutshell, life was beginning to weigh me down and I thought I was out of resources so I didn’t really fight it. Whoops!
This was about 11 or so months ago and without going into too much detail, was about the time I had experienced what many of us dread… a cold dark and completely terrible reality. With already a myriad of issues engulfing my personal and business life, I was sure I was done for. Man was I ever wrong, Life is good and I am going to be better than ever before when this passes!
By the way, This IS NOT a motivational blog even if it sounds like one. Follow me on my journey; I promise it gets better and better and then…worse…? You know!?
We are just playing a little bit of catch up and introduction right now, I’m just letting my fingers do the walkin’!
So, I suppose before I get to far ahead of myself. I will tell you as roughly and truthfully as possible about the person I believe myself to be and the man I have become, though there are many people who may not agree, in turn, I know there are many who would.
I am a very real person, I have lived very loudly, effectively and over all, happily.
Of course, like most of us, I have experienced my share of problems, pitfalls and hardships throughout my existence, but even after all of it, I am happy I have experienced living. So far it has been a blast or even better, a roller coaster ride like none other!
I am a lover of life, nature and all things beautiful; I would go to great lengths to help someone in need and wish I had more opportunities to do so. No one deserves to fight the painful battle of life alone. What a lonely mission that ought to be. I don’t know why there is so much hate and negativity in the world today, it is completely pointless and detrimental to the progression of life and understanding and really, its just depressing. This is something I will get into a lot of detail about as it is one of the biggest problems I have with the world, but not right now.
On a funny side note, I would have loved to been alive back in the med evil times. Something about the atmosphere, music, lifestyle and attire? I always wanted to save a damsel in distress, maybe rescue her from a fire breathing dragon or something like that – Woulda been SAAAWEEEEET! In the end I could have truly proven I am worthy of her love, too bad many of us guys don’t understand that concept anymore; its just too easy these days and I still can’t wrap my mind around the entire constitution of marriage, it kind of Erks me a little bit, but I am going to cut that rant short since its very counter-productive.
I believe in being true to yourself, that’s why I don’t hide who I am for the simple reason that I expect those who are close to me and care about me, to know what it is they care about. What is it worth if those feeling are based on an illusion right? I prefer to be upfront and tend to not leave things for depiction. Clear, concise and honest; All the time! It works. I used to be all caught up in the superficial crap that was fed to me growing up, though everyday I realize more and more, that stuff is a complete waste of my energy.
I would rather spend my time being progressive and happy, meeting other like-minded individuals, having intellectual conversations or just wasting time, just for the greater good. It is important to me that I enjoy everyday, within or without reason. It can’t really matter that much. I figure if something makes you miserable… don’t do it, right?
One thing I pride myself on is that I am an avid drummer and all around musician, I find music to be my best means of expression and well, it just feels awesome playing! “If life gives you lemons, squeeze them”, or something like that. Ever since I was young, I could pick up an instrument and play and even though I ended up being ‘the drummer….’, my truest passions are playing piano, writing and composing and singing my misunderstood heart out!
Even just recently I discovered a phenomenal violinist named “Lindsey Stirling” AMAZINGLY TALENTED and cute as a button! Anyhow, this woman, her music and charismatic persona have motivated me to go buy a decent violin and what I now like to call my “Super Bow”.. (or my dud dun duh daaaaa!), and try to learn how to play; I have even considered learning to dance, but that’s an entirely different story, I am not sure I have the dancing gene! As for violin, let’s say I am still learning, but, like everything, the basics are coming easily enough and with only a few barriers. I have however required some assistance surpassing these proverbial hurdles. It just keeps getting harder right now. eEEeeesh!!!
When I’m not working on music, I am working on one of my 5 businesses. I never imagined I would end up having the urge to dip my toes into so much different water; It could be my lifelong need to explore as many of the worlds possibilities as I can in a lifetime. Or, like my family and friends think, I am crazy. Maybe I am… but its worth it, mostly…..ish.. The types of businesses I run are mostly related to real estate and private functioning business acting on behalf of our clients. I also dabble in a couple types of photography, designing, advertising and promotion, business development, and various outfitting activities, none of which are really anything I can see myself doing forever. I have this burning need to prove that working for ‘the man’ or even yourself may work, but, I personally think that there are better ways to live. Anyway, I still seem to find time for myself, but I think if I take anymore on I may very well just tip over and getting up may not be an option at that point.
While I used to be out living all the time, enjoying my time here, doing good for others, experiencing as much as I possibly could, somewhere along the line I lost touch with the most important thing ever, Myself. Now, I guess you could call me a workaholic and yes, it has taken its toll on me. I am not sure I even know how to live effectively anymore. At the same time, even while I write this I am shaking my head No, but leaving it there because, well, it must be true if this is what’s flowing out of my mind and heart and on to the screen, right? So be it.
Theoretically, I had hit a wall and when I saw this puppy, I thought… “OH Sh!T… I am not getting around or over this one without help. But, being reluctant to seek help right off the bat, I attempted to conquer these issues at my own accord. After a while I really thought I was going to get through whatever it was that was bugging me and be able to really seize the moment again, so to speak.
Unfortunately, that only lasted for a short time and I was back running in circles, dealing with the exact same problems form the exact same people over the exact same petty semantics. Or at least I thought that they were petty. That wasn’t exactly the case. I had some serious thinking to do and that’s when I remembered something I hear all the time, “If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its entire life believing it is worthless”. I had become this person. Quick to judge and never interested in forgiving or listening to anyone but myself. Another grave mistake.
Now, I am not saying I am any better or worse than the people I am speaking about, but what I finally realized only a couple months ago was, I was the reason I was miserable, I am the one putting myself through the same old crap time and time again, I am the one who is sitting around waiting for something to happen. Any intelligent person knows, sitting around and waiting isn’t going to work forever, if at all. I had forgotten why I was so successful in the first place. I had always been such an eccentric, in your face, go getter always interested in rocking the boat a bit just to see what situation I could experience next. I was hooked on living, but I lost that for a while and am only just starting now to get it back again. Kinda the reason I started to write this blog in the first place. I have so much to say, but no one ever cares to listen. I thought there would be some people out there who can relate, provide insight, learn a thing or two or maybe at the very least, find humor in some of what I have to say. After all, sometimes all you can do is laugh.
The best thing I have done lately was to take a step back, relax and just go with the flow. It really is amazing how life just kind of works it self out. After doing that, I have been experiencing so many great things. I am pretty sure they were there all along, I was just so reserved and oblivious to my surroundings. Lift your head up and WOAH!!! There’s the world, and as I keep thinking about the good, I have started to accept the bad but not to focus on it. I focus more on what I can do to better these situations. I have always loved doing humanitarian type things. I have it so good no matter how bad things seem so sitting hear idle is the last thing I want to do. There are actually people in this world who need our help, but, does anyone even want to think about it? Not in most cases, who would? It’s bad news all around and personally I think a lot of the world has just become a mess. The number of people who live for themselves has increased exponentially. Its hard to rally us people together anymore for a cause that is not for ourselves first and foremost, and that hurts any possibility for a promising future for the young children of the world today; Many people these days so preoccupied and held hostage by the constraints of the world we have created and in many cases it isn’t even their fault. At least I wouldn’t be so quick to point fingers.
I have always dreamed of changing the world for the better, I just don’t know where to start….and really could use some help figuring it out. Unfortunately, no one I know even seems very interested in helping anyone else. Or not if it means they have to leave their cushy life in cushytown.. Boooo
Weird…..I have kind of lost focus on where I was heading with this post and this seems like as good a time as any to call it a night. If that is how this blog is going to take shape, I am going to let it happen. I have no expectations for this project, but I sure do I hope I can at least learn from any of my readers and especially, to learn from myself.
It really is incredible, even after my first attempt at writing about this stuff I have learned so much about myself. This is going to be a great experience! Thanks for coming for the introduction to My Beginning of the End!
Thanks for reading and please share your comments and input if you feel so inclined. I would be grateful to have the chance to learn from all of you and share our thoughts about absolutely anything!
Also, because this is my first post, I am curious how bad it was or alternatively, if it had some quality to it. Was it a good read, or did I waste 5 minutes of your time? Thanks in advance.
Get Backatchya Soon!
Jay Anonymous
My Beginning of the End... 